"Officer, I know I was going faster..." - Quote by Steven Wright
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
More by Steven Wright
“One day, when I came home from work, I accidentally put my car key in the door of my apartment building. I turned it, and the whole building started up. So I drove it around. A policeman stopped me for going too fast. He said, "Where do you live?" I said, "Right here!" Then I drove my building onto the middle of a highway, and I ran outside, and told all of the cars to get the hell out of my driveway.”
“I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?”
“I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.”