"A friend of mine once sent me..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“It's like the Wild West, the Internet. There are no rules.”

“I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.”

“Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.”

“First catch your Boer, then kick him.”

“Time is an illusion-to orators.”

“There is only one way to make money at writing, and that is to marry a publisher's daughter.”

“You cannot be friends upon any other terms than upon the terms of equality.”

“A true friend encourages us, comforts us, supports us like a big easy chair, offering us a safe refuge from the world.”

“When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the 'nay' in your own mind, nor do you withhold the 'ay. And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed. When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.”