"Is 'tired old cliché' one?..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.”

“Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?”

“When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.”

“Mitch”, but then reattach it and call it “Mitch-all-together.”

“How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.”

“Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.”

“POLONIUS: What do you read, my lord? HAMLET: Words, words, words.”

“If people were in the habit of refering to 'King George's council, Winston and his gang,' it would go a long way to clearing thought, and reducing the frightful landslide into Theyocracy.”

“Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language.”