"I wear a hat on stage so..." - Quote by Steven Wright
I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
More by Steven Wright
“I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.”
“I invented the cordless extension cord.”
“I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.”
More on Humor
“You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.”
“Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans”
“I travel with a boom box. When I get on a plane, I stuff the power cord for the boom box into the battery compartment. From an outsider's point of view, it looks like I've got it all wrong.”