I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage' 'It's not for sale.'
“Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?”
“In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.”
“If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.”
“I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the Zebra did it.”
“Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?”
“I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote", so right before I die I could say "unquote".”
“Smee! Raise the Ladies!”
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
“You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.”
