"I note the derogatory rumors concerning the..." - Quote by W C Fields

“Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.”

“Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.”

“It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.”

“What's the opposite of suck? Un-suck?”

“I think if I have established anything in my book, it's that a key element of being my friend is being comfortable with my forced fun.”

“I don't bite you know ... unless it's called for.”

“You know that he who would be the greatest among you must become the servant of all.”

“In your hands you hold the seeds of failure - or the potential for greatness.”

“Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve.”