"If you think nobody cares about you,..." - Quote by Steven Wright
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
More by Steven Wright
“I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.”
“You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.”
“I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.”
More on Humor
“His argument is as thin as the homeopathic soup that was made by oiling the shadow of a pigeon that had been starved to death.”
“Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.”
“Man… ninjas are kind of cool… I just don’t know any personally.”
More on Money
“It is absurd to say that our country can issue $30,000,000 in bonds and not $30,000,000 in currency. Both are promises to pay; but one promise fattens the usurer (banker), and the other helps the people. If the currency issued by the Government were no good, then the bonds issued would be no good either. It is a terrible situation when the Government, to increase the national wealth, must go into debt and submit to ruinous interest charges at the hands of men who control the fictitious values of gold.”
“If you cannot control your emotions, you cannot control your money.”
“Budget: a way of going broke methodically”