"Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”

“Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!”

“I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.”

“It is as hard to satirize well a man of distinguished vices, as to praise well a man of distinguished virtues.”

“Injections are the best thing ever invented for feeding doctors.”

“When I'm out of politics I'm going to run a business, it'll be called rent-a-spine”

“Stock dealers and banking companies, by the aid of a paper system, are enriching themselves to the ruin of our country, and swaying the government by their possession of the printing presses, which their wealth commands and by any other means, not always honorable to the character of our countrymen.”

“Top management as a function and as a structure was first developed by Georg von Siemens (1839-1901) in Germany between 1870 and 1880, when he designed and built the Deutsche Bank and made it, within a very few years, into continental Europe's leading and most dynamic financial institution.”

“Finally, in our progress toward a resumption of work we require two safeguards against a return of the evils of the old order: there must be a strict supervision of all banking and credits and investments; there must be an end to speculation with other people's money, and there must be provision for an adequate but sound currency.”