"When I was in school the teachers..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“No one is listening until you make a mistake.”

“I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.”

“I thought I would be a guy on the radio.”

“People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.”

“The best way to save face is not to use the lower half.”

“There's nothing like a love song to give you a good laugh.”

“How I hated this school, and what a life of anxiety I lived there for more than two years.”

“I went to a public school through sixth grade, and being good at tests wasn't cool.”

“On the first day of school, my teacher, Miss Mdingane, gave each of us an English name and said that from thenceforth that was the name we would answer to in school. This was the custom among Africans in those days and was undoubtedly due to the British bias of our education.”