I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
“It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.”
“When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.”
“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”
“The beauty of America is that the average person always thinks she is above average.”
“I don't know. How hot is it supposed to be?”
“I am not an economist. I am an honest man!”
“A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.”
“Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!”
“My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess.”
