"Last year we drove across the country...We..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!”

“Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes.”

“If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?”

“... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. If your children object to being tied, threaten to take them to see Santa Claus; that ought to shut them up.”

“You have to have a sense of humor if you follow politics. Otherwise, the sheer fraudulence of it all will get you down.”

“I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.”

“Though we travel the world over to find beauty, we must carry it with us or we find it not . . . The difference between landscape and landscape is small, but there is a great difference in beholders.”

“By hook or by crook, I hope that you will possess yourselves of money enough to travel and to idle, to contemplate the future or the past of the world, to dream over books and loiter at street corners and let the line of thought dip deep into the stream”

“Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery.”