Robin Williams

“When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'”

“I learned that by being entertaining you make a connection with another person.”

“Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.”

“Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.”

“I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal.”

“The human spirit is more powerful than any drug - and that is what needs to be nourished: with work, play, friendship, family. These are the things that matter.”

“We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you”

“The idea of having a steady job is appealing.”

“After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.”

“Comedy pays the bills if I can't find a film.”

“Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that's going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks.”

“My battles with addiction definitely shaped how I am now. They really made me deeply appreciate human contact. And the value of friends and family, how precious that is.”

“Cocaine for me was a place to hide. Most people get hyper on coke. It slowed me down. Sometimes it made me paranoid and impotent, but mostly it just made me withdrawn.”

“Reality: What a concept!”

“Ever since my children were born, the moment I looked at them I was crazy about them. Once I held them I was hooked. I am addicted to my children sir. I love them with all my heart and the idea of someone telling me I can't be with them, I can't see them everyday. Well, it's like someone saying I can't have air.”

“Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone.”

“Sometimes, keeping track of people. It's always a weird combination of worrying so much about the outside world, and not... you have to be more aware of the inner circle, the folks that matter.”

“I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.”

“When your spinal cord freezes up, you're vulnerable to everything. But he [Chrestopher Reese] was tough as nails. And he kept a great, kind of dark sense of humor about it, but also was able to accomplish amazing things.”

“Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget.”

“Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.”

“Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio.”

“Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten.”

“Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.”

“Sometimes you got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.”

“Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.”

“Good people end up in Hell because they can't forgive themselves.”

“The essential truth is that sometimes you're worried that they'll find out it's a fluke, that you don't really have it. You've lost the muse or - the worst dread - you never had it at all. I went through all that madness early on.”

“It's frightening and exhilarating. It's like combat. Look at the metaphors: You kill when it works; you die when it doesn't.”

“A woman wouldn't make a bomb that kills you. A woman would make a bomb that makes you feel bad for a while. That's why there should be a woman President. There'd never be any wars, just every twenty-eight days there'd be very intense negotiations.”

“Humor is a great defense, and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn't too happy about it, but the people around are laughing.”

“Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?”

“If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there.”

“Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'”

“I only ever play Vegas one night at a time. It's a hideous, gaudy place; it may not be the end of the world per se, but you can certainly see it from there.”

“But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever.”

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.”

“In 'The Secret Agent,' it's basically a character that was admired by Theodore Kaczynski, which is some fan mail you don't really want to open. This is a man who is a chemist and who specializes in making bombs and despises humanity.”

“There are times when life's just real quiet and simple. I sometimes get tired of people saying, "Well, what are you really like?"”

“I did an event in Washington, and it was like we lifted a sea.Immediately after [9/11], there was a stunned shock - kind of this feeling of "What do we do now?" I started performing, and there was a catharsis in the laughing. People started to be able to laugh again. Laughter can be many things - sometimes a medicine, sometimes a weapon, depending on.”

“We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.”

“You'd think all of these "atypical" somethings would add up to a typical something”

“Make your life spectacular, I know I did.”

“If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you take two?"”

“Sometimes with a comedy it's just having the instinct of how real you play it and what level you want it.”

“Terrible wars have been fought where millions have died for one idea - freedom. And it seems that something that means so much to so many people would be worth having.”

“Explore an idea until you've exhausted it, really go to all the different parameters of it.”

“There's no question this is where I want to live. Never has been.”

“You have to break in half to love somebody.”

“Three wishes - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds”