"When I was crossing the border into..." - Quote by Steven Wright
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'
More by Steven Wright
“It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.”
“You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.”
“I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.”
More on Dark Humor
“Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?' He answered, 'I don't know, kid. There are so many places they can hide.”
“Smoking cures weight problems, eventually.”
“There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!”