"Honestly, I just go to restaurants to..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.”

“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”

“Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.”

“I'd learned something... Food had power. It could inspire, astonish, shock, excite, delight and impress. It had the power to please me... and others. This was valuable information.”

“Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!”

“The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.”

“I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.”

“Cooking professionally is a dominant act, at all times about control. Eating well, on the other hand, is about submission. It's about giving up all vestiges of control, about entrustingyour fate entirely to someone else. It's about turning off the mean, manipulative, calculating, and shrewd person inside you, and slipping heedlessly into a new experience as if it were awarm bath. It's about shutting down the radar and letting good things happen. Let it happen to you.”

“I like my food dry. Not sick, not even dying, dead.”