#Housework Quotes

“There is a woman who swam around Manhattan, and I asked her, why? She said, it hadn't ever been done before. Well, she didn't have to do that. If she wanted to something no one had ever done before, all she had to do was vacuum my apartment.”

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.”

“Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?”

“I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.”

“... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.”

“I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.”

“Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didn't do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.”

“Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.”

“Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.”

“I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.”

“Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.”

“My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.”

“Housework can kill you if done right.”

“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”

“Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.”

“Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.”

“Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.”

“I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.”

“The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything.”

“At the end of a dinner at my house, my kitchen sink is filled with dishes and there's nothing pretty about the garbage.”