Men Quotes

“Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.”

“When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.”

“Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.”

“The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.”

“Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.”

“Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".”

“Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.”

“Men have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.”

“If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.”

“If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.”

“No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.”

“All men would still really like to own a train set.”

“Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.”

“Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.”

“Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night, change its diapers, and give it a bottle, but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.”

“Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they're married to.”

“Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: "Ruth, you look great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."”

“Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.”

“When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.”

“Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.”

“All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.”

“Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.”

“A political man is disgusting, but a political wife, horrible.”

“There are guys who grow up thinking they'll settle down some distant time in the future, and there are guys who are ready for marriage as soon as they meet the right person. The former bore me, mainly because they're pathetic; and the latter, frankly are hard to find.”

“Men are nuts. Young men are crazy. We all love toys. I'm toy oriented. I write about toys. I've got a lot of toys. Hundreds of things. But computers are toys, and men like to mess around with smart dumb things. They feel creative.”