#Parents Quotes

“The big problem in the long process of dumbing down the schools is that you can reach a point of no return. How are parents who never received a decent education themselves to recognize that their children are not getting a decent education?”

“Mothers, of course, are all right. They pay a chap's bills and don't bother him. But fathers bother a chap and never pay his bills.”

“Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.”

“My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.”

“Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?' He answered, 'I don't know, kid. There are so many places they can hide.”

“Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!”

“I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.”

“My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.”

“When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.”

“When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.”

“To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.”

“When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. See what happens when you "know it all", at any stage of life? Farther down the track you may see clearly how certain personal opinions, held onto too tightly, could be fogging up the view, and providing incorrect insight. Prosperity is the best protector of principle.”

“With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.”

“Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!”

“When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!”

“My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio.”

“You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father s. He's more particular. The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.”

“You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's.”

“I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.”

“I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.”

“My mother had morning sickness after I was born.”

“My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.”

“What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!”

“With my old man I got no respect. When he took me hunting he gave me a three minute head start. Then on the way home he tied me to the fender and put the deer in the car.”

“Oh, why will parents always appear at the wrong time? Some extraordinary mistake in nature, I suppose.”

“When I was a kid I got no respect. My mother breast fed me through a straw.”

“I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?”

“I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."”

“When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back”

“When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.”

“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

“What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.”

“My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.”

“My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.”

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”

“Every woman becomes their mother. That's their tragedy. And no man becomes his. That's his tragedy.”

“Man that is of woman born is apt to be as vain has his mother.”

“Children start out loving their parents, but as they grow older and discover their parents are human, they become judgmental. And sometimes, when they mature, they forgive their parents, especially when they discover they are also human.”

“My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.”

“My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

“Americans are like a rich father who wishes he knew how to give his son the hardships that made him rich.”

“The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.”

“My parents always told me I could do anything, but never told me how long it would take”

“Few parents nowadays pay any regard to what their children say to them. The old fashioned respect for the young is fast dying out.”

“The trouble with women is, that when they grow up, they turn into their mothers. The trouble with men is, that they don't.”

“Always obey your parents - when they are present.”

“To grow up is to stop putting blame on parents.”

“Only this much I knew - that under ideal conditions, true education could be imparted only by the parents, and that then there should be the minimum of outside help.”

“As one boy said, 'I was thinking all these horrible thoughts about my parents when suddenly it hit me-if they're all that bad, how come I'm so wonderful'”

“My heroes are and were my parents. I can't see having anyone else as my heroes.”