#Cooking Quotes

“When you have helped to raise the standard of cooking, you have helped to raise the only thing in the world that really matters. We only have one or two wars in a lifetime, but we have three meals a day -- there's nothing in the world that we do as much as we do eating.”

“I confess that my stomach does not take to this style of cooking. I cannot accept calves sweetbreads swimming in a salty sauce, nor can I eat mince consisting of turkey, hare, and rabbit, which they try to persuade me comes from a single animal... As for the cooks, I really cannot be expected to put up with this ham essence, nor the excessive quantity of morels and other mushrooms, pepper, and nutmeg with which they disguise perfectly good food.”

“A good cook is a certain slow poisoner, if you are not temperate.”

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”

“I love making buckwheat crepes with ham, Parmesan cheese, and a fried egg on top. It's my go-to breakfast.”

“Soup is cuisines kindest course”

“The British cook, for her iniquities, is a foolish woman who should be turned into a pillar of salt which she never knows how to use.”

“My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.”

“My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark”

“my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens”

“My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.”

“One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".”

“My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.”

“My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.”

“Cooking is a form of flattery....a mischievous, deceitful, mean and ignoble activity, which cheats us by shapes and colors, by smoothing and draping.”

“I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.”

“How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?”

“Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.”

“My mother was the worst cook ever. In school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.”

“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.”

“I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen”

“Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.”

“I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn't show the dirt.”

“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”

“It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.”

“Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.”

“I don't like to cook. I can make a TV dinner taste like radio.”

“Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.”

“Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.”

“I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.”

“I wouldn't go that far. But I know my way around the kitchen. I make dinner every night.”

“Writing and cookery are just two different means of communication.”

“I'm just someone who likes cooking and for whom sharing food is a form of expression.”

“Incubated. And then raised. And then beheaded. And then plucked. And then cut up. And then put on a grill. And then put on a bun. Damn, it's gonna take a while. I don't have time. Scrambled!”

“I like baked potatoes. I don't have a microwave oven, and it takes forever to bake a potato in a conventional oven. Sometimes I'll just throw one in there, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done, who knows?”

“Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother.”

“There should always be some flowering and maturing of the fruits of nature in the cooking process.”

“I am my happiest self when generations in my family are getting together and I'm cooking.”

“One of the things that I do to relax at the end of the day is I read recipes.”

“If I'm cooking, I feel like I'm in control of my life.”

“I have loved to cook since I was a child in my mother's kitchen. If I don't have time to cook, I'll just read a cookbook.”

“My mother cooked like a scientist. She had a giant Chinese-style cleaver that she chopped with, and a cupboard full of spices.”

“This is every cook's opinion -no savory dish without an onion,but lest your kissing should be spoiledyour onions must be fully boiled.”

“Your onions should be thoroughly boiled.”

“There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good.”

“What we need in this country is a general improvement in eating. We have the best raw materials in the world, both quantitatively and qualitatively, but most of them are ruined in the process of preparing them for the table.”

“I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book . . . The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.”

“Old women are the secret to the fluffiest cakes.”

“Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?”

“I have always felt cookbooks were fiction and the most beautiful words in the English language were 'room service.”